Still Sore!!!

I'm still sore and swollen from surgery 6 days ago. How crazy is that? She had told me that by Monday I would be feeling great, but clearly I'm very swollen and bruised on my stomach. I've been dreading working out and having done so yet since walking still seems like a chore (I hate the feeling of the clothing rubbing against my incisions...ick!)

I am sad I had to miss two pilates classes this week. Mom thought I should skip since pilates mostly works your core and since my stomach is bruised...yeah makes sense to me too.

Everything else is going well. I've worked HARD all week. Yesterday I taught all day and then babysat all night. Tomorrow I have an interview at a high school here in town. I'm a little nervous because it is a rougher high school. In fact, today in the paper there was an article about how a kid punched a substitute teacher at that high school! It's not that rough day to day, I'm sure that hasn't happened in a long time there, but the kids come from a hard economic background so I am a little nervous about that. Wish me luck!

Well, since this isn't really a working out post I'll stop now. Surgery seems like a sorry excuse for not working out, but it's the truth.

In other news: I am eating healthy and have lost a little of the weight I had gained during surgery from laying around in bed unable to move. I'm back at my 172. :)

Post Surgery Wake-Up

Friday was the dreaded d-day for my surgery. I was anxious the whole day and unable to eat anything the night before.

After my surgery I woke up and started throwing up. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom and so as soon as they tried to help me up it began. They gave me 3 rounds of nauseous medication but it wasn't until I got home and ate something that my stomach finally relaxed.

My stomach is so huge right now. Full of gas and bloated from the surgery. I have never felt more uncomfortable. On top of that my photographer posted some photos of my fiance and I from our engagement shoot on her website and I HATE them. I can't help but focus on my size and see all of the fat and see everything I want to disappear. I wish I could go get on a treadmill right now.

Maybe that was what I needed though. A prewedding wake-up call. There are 7 months until the wedding...plenty of time to still lose some weight and feel better about my body.

As soon as I can I will be on that treadmill. And this time, looking at those photographs, I can visualize where I don't want to be.

Doing Well

Hey ya'll!
It's been so hard to find time to blog in here lately. At night I'm so exhausted and have little motivation, but I'm still checking your blogs so keep me posted!

I have gained a little weight over the past 3 weeks, but my body is changing so I'm pretty sure I'm putting on muscle from my workouts with JT and doing those damn lunges all by myself. It's weird because one day I'll be up 2 pounds and the next down 4...insane. I guess my body doesn't know what to do right now. JT said I should go up a few pounds in muscle before I start dropping so that is a good sign I guess.

I started back taking pilates classes on the reformer again. I love them! I forgot how much I enjoyed it and it doesn't feel like a workout at all. Although this time I'm taking Level 2 classes so they are a lot more difficult than the Level 1's. I though level 1 was a piece of cake, but I'm finding myself a bit more challeneged now.

Sam and I are engaged and busily planning the wedding. Still don't know if his family will come or if they will be uninvited...they tuned.

I guess that is it! I have to get to the gym (where I work in the kid's daycare) and then I might jump on the treadmill for a bit again. I find it easier to workout when I'm already there...even though I worked out today I might just tell myself to do 1 mile tonight.

I'm Backkk...for now

I'm back...before another brief hiatus unfortunately. My surgery got moved up to December 5 so I'll have to take a few days (a week?) off then to recover and won't be able to work out. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers. :)

Everything has been going well. I've been working out with a personal trainer every week this month and it has really been changing my body and my workouts. He has taught me so many things that I would never have thought of doing on my own. I highly suggest seeing a personal trainer at least once to switch up your routine and to challenge your body. After this month I'll only be seeing him 1x a month and then if I want I can add on more sessions.

So some surprising news. About 2 years ago my cousin was visiting. She is 33 now with one child who is 4. She has been working out a TON (2x a day everyday) and lost a TON of weight. She was never big, but always average at 5'8". Well, when she came to visit us 2 years ago (I have seen her since, but the incident occurred around then) she had already lost about 20 pounds and was looking skinny, but I noticed she was eating a TON. She was never naturally thin--so I kept wondering what she was doing with the whole quesadilla she ate, 3 cookies and tons of snacks. Then it dawned on me--she's bullemic. I told my Mom that day that I thought she was bullemic and my Mom thought I was nuts. Well, apparently she went from bullemic to anorexic by the time she turned 32. She couldn't handle getting older and wanted to get really skinny. She has even refused to have more children (because she doesn't want to gain weight). She was put in the hospital for bronchitis, or so we thought, a few weeks ago. Turns out it was because her purging had actually been burning her esophagus. Ewww...

It makes me so sad to see someone do this to themselves. As unhappy as I am with my body I know I can fix it by working out more/eating less bad food and taking care of my body. It makes me sad to see someone who is so beautiful having so many body image issues. The odd thing is...she always acts like she has her whole life together and like she is (pardon the french) "the shit." It really surprised me.

Anyways, that is the new family stuff. In happier news, Sam officially proposed on 11/14/08! :) We haven't told his famil yet...he is going later this week to tell them. He has MAJOR issues with them, which I won't get into on here, but it's pretty ricidulous. I'm so excitied to marry him and to spend the rest of our lives together. :)

I hope everyone is having a great week. Hopefully we'll all drop 1 pound this week.

xoxo

Hiatus

Sorry my posts have been less frequent. My Grandma has been sick for the past 5 years suffering from mini-strokes and having these delusions. She gets kind of violent throwing things after the stroke thinking she saw things she didn't see, etc. Last year her husband and my step-grandfather, Jim, put her in the nursing home because she was having them so frequently and was going off on him. Last Sunday she got up in the middle of the night and fell breaking both of her hips and suffering another mini-stroke.

They rushed her to the ER where she suffered a massive stroke at some point and went into a coma. My Dad immediately drove there to be with her but Mom and I stayed behind because she had work and I had school and we didn't know what was going to happen.

Dad called us that night and let us know that the stroke had been too massive and too much for her 85-year-old body. He said she would probably never wake up from it and that he thought the stroke was so bad that she was brain dead.

Throughout the week they moved her body and would roll her over so that she would not get fluid in her lungs... I would think that would hurt laying on a broken hip on either side, but I don't know.

Finally they decided to give her morphine medicine (even though her medical records indicate she is allergic) because she had a rattle in her throat. On Tuesday the Dr. told my Dad they were going to take her off of IV's because she was going to die and that would speed things up (I still have a serious problem with this...no one should ever be deprived of fluids).

On Friday she passed away. It's been a long week. She's had so many problems for the past five years and with her age I guess I'm not as upset as I was when my Grandfather died. Also, as the strokes happened more often and her temper came out she turned into someone I didn't know. When she wasn't having the strokes she was so exhausted and slept all the time.

It feels so weird...I was not very close with any of my Dad's family because all that was left was his Mom and one other brother and they both lived far away. Dad kinda adopted my Mom's family and felt a closer connection to them so that is always where we went. I'm still sad and I cried for awhile about Grandma, but I'm glad she is in Heaven and finally at peace.

Sadly I couldn't go to the funeral because I have finals this week. My parents thought it would be best if I stayed behind to study for my finals and my Praxis. I'm kind of glad I didn't go.... please don't get me wrong when I say this, but I have a hard time at funerals as is and my Grandma converted to Mormonism when she was in her 60's and it has been something my family and I have never understood. I didn't have a problem with her practicing or anything, but it is something that my family doesn't really condone. I think I was also worried about how different/awkward the funeral may be.

So that was my sad week.

I probably won't post this week because of finals and my Praxis exam.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers if you don't mind.

Doctor's Exam

So for those of you that were interested or wanted an update I'd thought I'd post.

My obgyn has serious issues with being on time. Last month when I was there for my checkup she was running two hours behind (luckily I was only seeing the nurse). However, this time I had to see her because she was doing an ultrasound on my ovaries, etc. I waited 2 1/2 hours for her! For 1 hour I was in the exam room in that stupid hospital gown freezing my butt off. Grrr

Anyways, she wants me to have a lapriscopy (sp?) to see if it is endometriosis. I really hope it is not. No one in my family has it, but hopefully if that is what it is...hopefully we caught it early enough so that I won't have fertility problems. So I'll have to be put to sleep and everything.

It just sucks that they have to be so invasive and still not know if I actually have this. I mean, what if they get in there and then they don't see anything? So then I just have really bad cramps? It just seems so silly. I wish there was another way they could find out if I had it. The good news is is that if I do have it they can laser it off while they are in there. :)

I scheduled the appointment for in January. I figured that way the holidays will be over and most of the wedding planning will be done. :)

She did a pap smear today too. Owww I have NEVER had one done! Clearly, being a virgin...I've never had anything down there so even the pediatric spectrum hurt. I seriously cried. I never cry at the doctor but it hurt so bad. Afterwards she did the ultrasound on my ovaries and didn't see any cysts.

So that was it! My lovely 2 1/2 hour appointment. Hoepfully we figure out what is going on and take care of it in January.

Wedding Planning

It's been a crazy week. As I said earlier, I know Sam is proposing this week. My parents are close with him and know that too but wanted me to start looking at reception venues and at photographers and get things booked. So this past week has been insane and I have just been calling hundreds of people.

Good news is I found a great place for the reception. It is a local very nice restaurant here in town (well known in the state). My Dad can pick what packages of food he wants to have at the restaurant. They have a beautiful mahogeny paneled room with mirrors scattered about. All of the tables are big and round and seat about 8 people. I think it'll be perfect. We're going to serve people an actual dinner (rather than a buffet) and have open bar so they can have whatever they want to drink. Dad picked the menu they could chose from and I was suprised he is letting people pick lobster or sirloin steak, etc. I think it'll be a great night overall. Because it is a restaurant we do not have a "reception" fee to rent out the space so the overall cost will be around $3,500 for food and open bar! You can't beat that.

I also got the photographer booked. Most photographers are ridiculous and run around $4,000 from what I have found in my area (I looked at 40 photographers!). I found one whose pictures are amazing and she is only $1,600 because it is her first year in the business. I am really excitied! Plus, in that cost you get a CD of all the pictures (you usually pay extra for this) a photo album of 150-200 pictures, engagement photos as well as coverage of your bridal ceremony and reception. You can't beat that price! Seriously...Sam and I are going to have our engagement photos done during Thanksgiving at a local horse race track here in town that is very popular. (I'm in Kentucky) :)

Those are the two big things I've done this week. I'm not going to go dress shopping still probably the first of January because my Mom is complaining since I've been working out and working out with a trainer she doesn't want to have to buy a dress now and take it in 2 or 3 sizes and then the shape changes on the dress and I don't like it, etc. For a July wedding I think we are still okay to wait until January. I might go try some on during Christmas just for fun and to get some ideas about what I like.

Oh...I did find a makeup artist! I wanted to find one for our engagement pictures, bridal portraits, and for the wedding day. I am so excitied! I am waiting for her to call me back about her rates but I am sure I will pay whatever it is because I want to look great in my photos. Her makeup is not like normal makeup where you go to the mall and have your makeup done. She uses an airbrush application and uses professional makeup that they use in photography and movies. It helps when taking photos so that way the light is not bouncing off of your skin. It just completely changes the way your pictures look.

In other news, I have been eating really healthfully and am done 1 more pound. 172 now...I'm getting so excitied!

I have to go have a mini-surgery done today so I probably won't be back online for awhile again. It's kind of embarassing but I'll share anyway...I'm a virgin and I'm having horrible pains down there. I can't even use a tampon. So my Doctor wants to look at my ovaries to see what is going on. There is a good chance it is a sign of infertility (although no one else in my family has it) because I have these horrible hip pains. On top of that, since I am a virgin and because I can't use a tampon and am apparently that small inside the Dr was thinking about performing a hymectomy on me today and actually breaking my hymen. I'm a little nervous and thinking I'm going to be in a lot of pain...we'll see.

Oh Gosh

I was dead right. I seriously can't move today. I did so many lunges and squats yesterday my body is dying. All night I would wake up to roll onto my stomach or onto my back and every movement ached. I could hardly get out of bed this morning let alone get into the bathtub. Ugh...

I know it is my lactic acid trying to repair my muscles that is making me so stuff, but seriously. I've done personally training in the past (2 years ago) and I've NEVER felt this sore. Maybe I pushed myself too much yesterday. Good news is I lost the 1 pound I had gained over the course of the weekend. :)

I'm going to go for a walk later today around my subdivision. I know the best thing to do when you hurt is to break up the lactic acid and to exercise (even if it aches). I walk so funny right now, so I would prefer not to go to the gym, so I'll take a walk around my subdivision's walking path later this afternoon with my iPod.

I feel pretty good about it all though. You know you've had a good workout when you're a little sore from it. My trainer said we only target each muscle once a week! No more squats for a week. Yay! I guess next time we'll be doing arm work. Ugh, I have the worst upper body muscle...aka NONE!

I'm Slowly Dying

I met with a personal trainer today. Can you say ow? I seriously feel my body slowly dying. Everything hurts....already. I wouldn't be surprised if I was stuck in bed tomorrow. HAHA, just kidding. He showed me a bunch of cool moves I could do on my own without weights or any machines. I'm really excitied. I'm meeting him again next week.

Only bad thing was I felt really sick working out. I ate a fiber one granola for breakfast and had a salad for lunch with a fatty dressing (only 2 tbsp) and then had some cheese and grapes, but I felt like I was going to throw up. I felt my heart racing in my thighs and all of a sudden I felt very nauseous. He said it happens sometimes with new people and that I probably didn't eat enough or that I didn't have enough sugar in my system. He asked me to bring my food journal next week so he could look at it and help me so it wouldn't happen again. I felt like such a dork. He made me go get water and sit for a few minutes but from then on he kept asking me if I felt sick or if I was okay. To make matters worse, he's a hot personal trainer! Ugh. Not saying I'm looking, but if he was nerdy at least I could pull it off with the "I'm fine" thing. HAHA

Today's been a good day, minus the soreness. I'm just relaxing and looking forward to my future workouts with him. He promised me 5-10 pounds a month if I do what he says and so I'm really excitied. I think this wedding has me super motivated. Especially now that I can look down at my finger and see a ring as I run. What more motivation do you need? He asked me what goal I wanted to reach in 9 months and I said I'd like to be around 150 but I want to do what is best for my body in those 9 months. He said he could get me to 140. 140! Yay! Almost to my goal by my wedding. I'm already so excitied.

Sadly my percent body fat was 38%! But he said my muscle mass was at 107.5 pounds which he said was really good. Apparently he gets people that have 75 pounds of muscle mass so I'm already ahead of the game.

What a great day! Hope everyone else had a great weekend and is ready to tackle this week. One day at a time, right?

Bad Weekend

What a bad weekend. Yesterday Mom and I went out and had a girl's day so we ate lunch out. Of course we went to a burger joint. I ate only half of my hamburger, but of course I ate my fries. I thought, no biggie, I'll just eat a salad for dinner. Well, I was babysitting at night and with my luck the parents didn't have anything to eat! I ordered the kids pizza and searched through their cupboards and fridge. I paced around the pizza took one bite and put it down. Then I searched the fridge some more. Not even salad! I gave in. I ate 3 cheese sticks and 1/2 slice of pizza. I felt awful afterwards and had a horrible stomach ache...I guess from not being used to such bad food after being good for 3 weeks.

Today I went to visit my boyfriend. It's about a 2 hour drive to see him so I got up at 7 and was there by 9am. I cooked all day for him his turkey casserole and his beef stew. My stomach was still a bit upset, so I ate peanut butter crackers and Diet Ginger Ale in the morning. By lunch I was feeling better and we had a taquito inbetween cooking for him. I really didn't eat a lot, but I definately didn't make great decisions today. I'd say I gained a pound or 2 after this weekend. Guess we'll find out tomorrow.

My Mom told me that when Sam proposes next month my Grandmother is going to give me my Great Grandmother's engagement ring from the 1920's. I'm so excitied! It's really beautiful and special. I think it just motivates me more thinking about it. I just found out last night. I think seeing that ring on my finger while I'm on the treadmill will motivate me even more to keep going and keep pushing myself.

This week I'm going to eat more fish and salads. I'm going to talk to a personal trainer at the gym soon. Just a one time thing and see if he/she can show me some things I can do on my own. Then maybe I can check in with them a month or two later.

Tomorrow is a new day. This weekend can't bum me out. It happens, but tomorrow is a new day. :)

Today's Food

So here is what I ate today:

Breakfast: Fiber One Bar, 5 oz. of Apple Juice
Snack: Crackers with Cream Cheese & Chive dip (already prepared)
Lunch: Toasted turkey sandwich with grapes and a handful of chips
Dinner: Peanut butter sandwich with a large glass of milk

I think today was a pretty average day. I wasn't particularly great at dinner where I should've had some sort of fish or chicken. However, tonight was leftovers nights and the leftovers were either meatballs or pork chops and I wanted neither so I opted for the peanut butter.

I'm still hungry for some reason. I guess that was the good thing about the lean protein diet is that you tend to feel pretty full. My tummy is growling, but I'm at my limit for tonight.

I hope you all have a great weekend! I'm sitting here watching my DVR of Oprah. She had some great recipes on her show today (particularly the Chicken Enchiladas).

I baked all morning Sausage Bread and Banana Bread for my boyfriend. I went ahead and froze the loaves for him so that way he would have them ready. On Sunday I promised I'd make him Turkey Casserole and Beef Stew. Should be a busy day of cooking!

Finished Phase 1

So this morning I woke up and just thought, ughhh I don't want eggs again, I'll just not eat breakfast. THen I thought about it. I'm down another pound at 173 pounds and I'm really not enjoying it. Yeah, it's nice to see the numbers change, but I'm so sick of protein and eggs. I'm ready to add back in some carbs in moderation. So I decided to go ahead and switch back but to be aware of what I am putting into my mouth and make sure I'm really consuming equal amounts of carbs, fats and protein.

This morning I had a fiber one bar. It felt nice to have a granola bar again. The nutritionist told me to make sure whatever I had at breakfast needed to have more than 3g of fiber in it. The bars have 9g. Although they upset my stomach a little I think the health benefits outweight that.

I'll update more later. I'm cleaning house today and getting organized. :)

What Chaos!

So today has been one of those crazy chaotic days.

I woke up late and so was scrambling to look presentable to go teach. I didn't have time to whip up some scrambled eggs or bacon so I grabbed....a granola. So I was already cheating on my no carb diet.

Afterwards I ran back to the house to change clothes and ate a cheese stick. I had about 30 minutes downtime before I had to go babysit. So I left to go babysit and I got there a bit early. I went up to the door and all of a sudden a cute baby orange kitten comes purring and rubbing up against me. At first I was stiff and a little alarmed. My parents said to never touch a strange animal because they could have rabies. But she was content just rubbing against me. The people I was suppoused to babysit for were running late so I sat down on the steps and the little orang kitten whom I nicknamed "Pumpkin" stretched out and slept on my shoe.

The lady I babysit for pulled up and I asked her about the cat. I knew they didn't have animals, but she said she had been feeding the cat. She didn't know whose it was but she and her son were allergic so they couldn't take care of it. She said that cat was super friendly though and didn't bite.

I already have the prettiest cat in the world named Izzy:

Yep, that's my pretty Izzy. Anyways, I'm allergic to cats and so is Sam so I bathe Izzy with allergy wipes all the time and take my allergy medicine. I knew having another cat wouldn't work since Sam and I were lucky Izzy wasn't bothering us as it was.

So as I left my babysitting job I offered to drop off Pumpkin at the Humane Society if she wanted me to. I figured it would be getting cold soon and Pumpkin is a short-hair so I knew she would be getting cold soon. Plus, she deserves a happy home. She was probably the most loving cat I've ever seen...just craving attention. Well, the lady I babysat for said that that would be great and so I put little Pumpkin in my car and took her and dropped off at her new home.

It was kind of sad for me. I really wished I could keep her. It makes me so sad seeing stray animals or seeing a dead animal along the road. I'm not some extreme activist, but it really breaks my heart. Pumpkin's ribs were even poking out a little bit.

After that I had to go take a drug test for my job. I called my previous employer and she told me they could use some holiday help so I thought I would help out for a few months...or as long as she needs me.

It was such a hectic day I never had time for lunch until 3pm. So I just gave in. I decided to call today my "cheat" day and just not worry about it. We all have to have those days, right? I hear sometimes they are even good for your body because it jumpstarts your metabolism.

So now I'm relaxing for the next two hours and then I'm off to babysit again tonight! Phew. One longgg day.

Seriously, if anyone ever has any babysitting or parenting questions, I probably know the answer. I've been babysitting for 12 years now and usually babysit everyday. It gets insane. In August I made $1,378 just from babysitting!

Happy "hump" day!

Family Background

So I'm sitting here right now watching the Biggest Loser and thought it would be a good time to blog. How inspiring is this show? I really like it. I would love to go on it with my family. Everyone in my family is overweight/obese and so I think it would really turn around all of our lives. They always pick on me because I'm the smallest. HA! My BMI says otherwise. Actually I need to be 169 pounds before I am into the "overweight" category. I can't wait to see that number!

My Dad was sticking to a really healthy diet and he is working out at the hospital 3 days a week (M, W, F). He just had his heart stint put in a few weeks ago and if you workout at the hospital they will monitor you to make sure your heart rate is okay, etc. It's a great program and I'm really proud of him. But lately, since he found out he did not have Type 2 Diabetes, he has reverted back to some bad eating habits. Today he was eating pizza at lunch! Not only lunch but he has been having unhealthy snacks too. I guess he decided since he didn't have Type 2 he wasn't in as much of a hurry to get healthy. I know he has a lot on his plate right now. My Grandmother is very sick and is in a nursing home. She is literally knocking on death's door. I don't think that is an excuse but I think he is eating his emotions and I'm a little worried about him.

Mom has been dieting right now too. However, she is doing it the WRONG way. I learned the hard way that restricing calories is not the answer. I didn't do it on purpose, but last time I was on Phase 1 of South Beach I just never realized how few calories I was consuming and I stopped losing weight because my body went into starvation mode. My Mom will drink juice in the morning then have peanut butter crackers for lunch and come home starving. She looks thinner but she is starving her body.

My brother, Alex, has never really tried a diet. He is 6 foot and about 260 pounds? Maybe even a little more than that. Mom and Dad pester him to lose weight all the time, because at twenty-six it's definately unhealthy. I keep telling them, he has to do this on his own. Honestly, whenever my parents berate me about going to the gym it's embarassing and makes you not want to go that much more. I think Alex needs to make the decision to go. He's on high blood pressure medicine already. Suprisingly, Alex eats veryyy healthfully. He just eats HUGE portions of food and goes back for seconds. What I would eat in 3 days he would eat in 1 sitting.

The funny thing is, my family is actually the unhealthiest out of our whole family. My cousins and Aunt's and Uncles have always been healthy and slim. Kind of depressing, huh?

I'm determined to lose this weight slowly and the right way. I'm so happy that my phase 1 is showing me the results and that I'm finally losing all of that water weight. I can't believe how debloated my stomach looks already just from not eating bread, sugar or milk. It really is amazing! I think I might go back to Phase 1 a few days before my wedding next year.

Speaking of which, Sam should be proposing any day now. Ahhhh! I'm so excitied. I think I've narrowed it down to either November 6 weekend for my Mom's birthday or Thanksgiving because those are the only two times he'll come into town. Sometime I will tell you why he is coming to MY house for Thanksgiving instead of his own...his story is UN-be-liev-able!

Anyways, I better get back to The Biggest Loser!

Happy Tuesday!

Down 2 More Pounds!

Okay so I am finally seeing some of the bloating from this past week go away. I think my new diet (even if I've been on it for only 1 day) is definately helping. I stepped on the scale this morning and was 174.5 and this evening I'm 174 exactly. That's a good sign for me at least when I weight less at night than when I did in the morning. I was stuck at 176 for two weeks. I'm so glad my body is finally letting go of some of the water I must've been retatining.

I really hate the first phase of South Beach. I'm not a big protein eater which is why it drastically changes my body. I just keep telling myself...12 more days until I can reintroduce some carbs and fruit back into my diet.

The only reason I am sticking to the first phase is because of the results. I really need some inspiration right now to just keep losing. I was going to the gym everyday and lifting weights. My body looked different but the numbers weren't changing. Now the numbers are finally showing me what I already know and I am really excitied.

The only thing I am allowing myself is to eat the fat free yogurt I just bought. On South Beach Phase 1 you are only suppoused to eat 4 oz. of fat free yogurt a day (he concludes that milk bloats you). However, I just bought it! Plus, can one cup of yogurt (6 oz.) really hurt me that bad? Okay! Today I actually had two cups, but still. I hadn't had enough calories so I had to give in to that extra 100 calories because I know from prior experience that starving my body by short changing calories gets me no where.

I'm off to take a bubble bath and relax before I have to begin my lesson plans. Who knew studying to be a teacher was so much work? Honestly. We have more intricate lesson plans than any teacher I know.

Hope you all are having a great Monday!

2.5 Pounds

So 2.5 pounds is not really a lot, right?

Wrong! That's 8,750 calories I've managed to burn off or not eat! Yay!

That's exactly 9 sticks of butter! I'm feeling much better about this already. :)

Aching

So today I woke up and I just feel awful. Those "girlie" issues have taken over my body and I am having a really hard time with it. My obgyn had advised me that I could take a stronger dosage of Ibprofin and so I started that yesterday but apparently it's not helping a whole lot.

I don't know about you all, but I have a REALLY tough time with the girlie issues. I have horrible hip pains the week before and then I have cramps for 2-3 days before and during. I'm currently on the pill to help subside these problems but it doesn't seem to be helping and I've been on it for over a year now.

I don't normally like talking about this kind of stuff but I thought I would share and see if anyone else had a similar experience. Apparently my hip pains could mean numerous pains including a sign of infertility...so I have to go to the obgyn again next month to let her look at my ovaries and try to figure out what is going on with my body.

I had some lab tests come back last week. The obgyn wanted to check my thyroid because of my weight gain (ha! I told her, I ate my way to weight gain) and to check my metabolism and estrogen levels. Apparently I had some "abnormal" results and the doctor wants to talk to me about it in person. Greatttt! The nurse did tell me that my estrogen levels were low...lower than normal and that may be why my time of the month is so much worse than most people's.

Anyways, I am still sticking to my diet. Today I started the first day of Phase 1 on the South Beach Diet. I'm not looking for a quick fix but I think I need to cut back and slowly add back fruits and bread so that I will not overdo it on bread again. I really am a carb addict.

I had 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast and 2 slices of Canadian Bacon. I forgot how much I loved Canadian Bacon.

For my morning snack I had a stick of string cheese reduced-fat.

Now I'm sipping on my water and planning my lunch. I ate a late breakfast so I'll probably eat lunch in another hour. I'm thinking about baked chicken with a salad?

I don't think I can make it to the gym today. I've been in bed all morning curled up in a ball. I'm going to use today as my "off" day and get there tomorrow.

Hope everyone else had a great weekend!

Britney Spears Weight Loss?

Just out of curiosity have any of you read into Britney Spears weight loss? I don't know if it's just me, but it doesn't seem that healthy. She is working out in the morning for 1 hour then weights at night for another hour and 1,000 crunches a day! On top of that she is dancing and is eating a diet of only 1,200 calories lean protein.

Time to Change Things Up

I've been keeping tack of my food in a food journal on an Excel spreadsheet for the past 3 weeks now. I met with a nutritionist back in the summer and we talked about meeting my caloric intake. She suggested between 1,300-1,500 calories a day. I usually keep it around 1,400 calories on average. However, I've only dropped a few pounds (granted, I am lifting weights as well) and so maybe I'm just getting a bit disgruntled.

I am not expecting to drop weight immediately, don't get me wrong. But some days after a tough workout of weights and cardio I'll weigh in the morning and have gained a pound. I realize some of it may be my body just not adjusting yet to the weight training but it is still kind of unmotivating (is that even a word?).

So I've been looking back into my food journal and noticed something I already knew about myself: I am a carbohydrate addict.

Yes, I am eating far more carbs than anyone should which is probably resulting in a fuller bloated look in my tummy. I remember going on the South Beach Diet many years ago and having success losing inches with it. That is because I don't tend to eat a lot of protein. When I do it is on a sandwich or with dinner it goes along with a giant roll. I've been thinking about my past results. I'm not looking for a quick fix, but I would like to notice some changes in the next 9 months before my wedding.

Therefore, I've decided tomorrow to begin my South Beach Diet once more with a few changes. Rather than forgoing bread I will have the whole wheat bread on occassions. Rather than eating a granola bar as my snacks I will have fruit or a yogurt or a cheese stick.

I think these changes will help me reach my goals and keep me motivated.

I've noticed many of you have been members of weight watchers as you lose weight. How does this work? Is it worth the money? How are they supporting you and helping you on your weight loss journey?

Caffeine Headaches?

Phew, it has just been one of those weeks. I'm bogged down with homework and have hardly had a chance to breathe.

Yesterday I went in to student teach at the high school. When I got finished it was 2 o'clock and I still hadn't had lunch. I was so hungry and I had an event to be at at 6 o'clock. So I made a quick run through to get fast food. I tried to make good decisions and went to Chick-fil-a and had the nuggets because I knew they had less calories. But I still had the waffle fries and even gave in and had a Diet Coke...my first in 3 weeks!

Not too long after I ate lunch I started getting this horrible headache. I had forgotten that before I gave up my Diet Cokes I used to have horrible headaches everyday. Now it makes me wonder if it was the Diet Coke that caused it?!!

Anyone else have a sensitivity to Diet drinks?

So, how'd you get fat?

So many of you may wonder how I got this way. I have had a battle with my weight all my life. Like any fat kid I was teased and bullied when I was younger for being 10-15 pounds heavier than my peers and so I ate my emotions. I can never really remember stepping on a scale and accurately recalling my weight when I was younger, but I was definately heavy.

In high school I had a breakthrough. I went in for a physical before the synchronized swimming season was to begin (yes, a fat chick in the water, ha!) and was mortified when I stepped on the scale and saw the number 182 staring back at me. Not only that but my mother had decided to follow me into the room and she was just as shocked as I was. That, of course, was not enough for me to begin my first weight loss journey...

My Grandfather passed away when I was 17 from a heart attack at the age of 72. He was 6'0" and 155 pounds his whole life. However, he was a smoker. Something clicked. I wanted a healthy heart. I didn't even care what the number on the scale said. Instead of getting an after school snack I went straight to the basement to run on the treadmill. I was determined not to binge or give in to what I had craved previously. The scale became my friend. It wasn't a matter of watching the number go up anymore, the number was going down. Moreover, I have never cared more in my life what weight I was because I knew the changes I was making were good for my body. I was running 6 miles a day and weight lifting. I dropped down to about 162 pounds. Then trouble struck yet again...

After three months of being good on my diet I was diagnosed with mono. I was sick in bed for months with headaches and a sore throat. I couldn't get out of bed thus I couldn't even run on the treadmill.

I lost another 10 pounds during those months laying in bed as sick as can be. I am ashamed to say I never went back to the treadmill except for the occasional hit and miss gym workouts. I even worked at a gym (in the daycare mind you), but I walked right past the treadmill and the weights daily. Somehow I managed to maintain my weight around 152 pounds. I even adjusted my eating so that I dropped down to 144 pounds for a few months.

I started dating someone my family did not approve of. I can not tell you how hard this was on me because my family was everything to me. They did not have any real valed reason for not liking this man and so I stuck to my guns. However, I was mentally a wreck. I was crying all of the time and not eating properly. My Dr. put me on several anti-anxiety medications and prescribed Ativan for whenever I was around my family and Ambien so I could finally sleep at night.

I am not blaming the drugs for my weight gain. I knew exactly what was going on. But I had always maintained my weight by stepping on the scale daily and adjusting my food intake to maintain my weight loss. I remember standing on the scale and seeing the 5 pound weight gain. However it never mattered. I was finally happy. The drugs had put me into some sort of state of oblivion. I laid around because they made me happy but zapped much of my energy and left me shakey. I started eating desserts again and slowly the weight continued to creep back on.

This past year I broke up with my boyfriend. I realized that the distance (it was a long distance relationship...he was in Europe and I am in the USA) was coming between us. Meanwhile, I had met someone and was starting to look forward to hanging out with him. I found myself happier than ever and completely stopped taking the anxiety medication cold turkey.

So you can see my weight loss journey. I am not one to point fingers and say the pills made me gain weight, but I was so happy that I couldn't have cared less if I gained 50 pounds.

I have a lot of motivation this time to gain weight. My Dad just had a stint put into his heart and was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. He has begun to work out as well in an effort to go off of his medication. Seeing him is an inspiration.

Moreover, I keep thinking about my guardian angel, my Grandfather, watching over me. I know he would be proud of me just for keeping my body healthy.

My soon-to-be fiance is currently in law school and so there are several dances that we'll have to go to. I definately don't want to have to base my outfit on what makes my arms look huge. In addition, we're hoping to get married next year and I want to have plenty of dresses to chose from.

So that's my story. I hope you all will help keep me motivated. Each of your blogs has inspired me to get out and get moving on those days when I want nothing more than to watch TV and relax. So THANK YOU!

Ps. I realized in my last post I posted my weight and my goal weight. For those of you that don't know, my height is 5'3" so I need to be below 140 to have a "normal" BMI.

Second Week

I just finished my second week on yet another battle of the bulge. Why is it that keeping the weight off is just not enough? I find myself on this rollercoaster yet again and it irritates me because it is my fault in the first place.

I'm going to "diet naked" like one of my favorite bloggers. My starting weight was 178.5 and my weight is currently 175.5

I'm determined to lose the weight. I have several reasons for the motivation including my likely marriage next year (I say likely because we're not engaged yet,but that will be any day!).

So far things have been going well. I completely cut off diet drinks and even artifical sugars like splenda and sweet-and-low because they give me headaches. So for the time being it is nothing but water and a diet drink for special occassions.

For the past two weeks I have worked out 5-6 days a week. I am keeping my calorie limit between 1,300-1,500 calories a day. I'm kind of disappointed I have not lost more weight yet, but I think that is due to the fact that I am new to working out and lifting weights and so I am building muscle? Thoughts anyone?